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What About It Bob?

Engaged Couples –
Are you finding that you and your future spouse cannot reach an agreement on an important marriage issue?

Are you and your future spouse arguing about the same issues over and over again?

Do you have a question about marriage preparation or about marriage that is important to be answered before marriage?

You can take advantage of my marriage preparation expertise and my twenty-four years of marriage counseling experience by sending your question to me at What About It Bob?

I will email a response to your question and offer suggestions on how you can resolve your important marriage preparation or marriage issue.

Your question and my answer to you will be available to me for use in my What About It Bob? publications unless you indicate to me that you decline such availability. Your names will not be used.

Please use the form below to email your question to me.

What About It Bob?

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Email Privacy:
Please be informed that email sent from this web site is not secured by encryption nor protected by confidentiality. Please just use email for questions about my services or scheduling session appointments. You should not send personal or sensitive information by e-mail. If you choose to send an email message to me, all information provided in that message will be used only to respond to your request. No personally identifying information will be shared with any third party. If you have confidential information you would like to discuss with me, contact me at (402) 630-1460 or schedule a counseling session or consultation. Please let me know if you have any questions about privacy issues. Thank you- BT
 


Originally published in the Spring-Summer 2007 edition of 'Wedding Essentials'. Reprinted by permission of the Omaha World-Herald.

What About It Bob?

"My mom and I have been arguing about my wedding plans. She disagrees with what I want to do. She and my dad are paying for most of the wedding and she's holding that over my head. I feel like eloping to Vegas! What should I do?

Easy. Stand up to mom and remind her that this is your wedding, not hers. OK, it might not be that easy. After all, she is your mom.

This is the guiding principle in mother-daughter disagreements: This is your (and your fiance's) wedding, not hers and your father's. I am sure your mother just wants the daughter she loves to have the most wonderful wedding possible.

However, since she is your parent, her emotional investment may make it difficult for her to let you and your fiancé be in charge. You will want to respect and consider her opinions and feelings. However, if your wedding plan is no longer going to result in the wedding you want, it is time to have a sit-down with mom.

Explain to her that you know she just wants you to be happy but you're really not getting the wedding you want. Be prepared. You may have to stand your ground and assert that you want the wedding of your dreams and not hers.

It is important for you to grow into your role as a wife and not just continue your role as a daughter. You now have a husband to consider. Most moms back off when it's brought to their attention that they seem to be planning the wedding instead of helping you plan your wedding. - BT

 

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